You dont post a guide on in your pocket

     For everyone who doesnt know. A guideon is the flag held by an individual in front of a formation. Well we just got our brand new class of air force students in and I was looking good in my nice new uniform. For morning formation I decided I would hold the guideon in front of them on the first day. I got up there and I was snappy. Revilee went off and I presented arms crisp and clean. On the cammand order arms I snaped the flag up and sharply thrusted the post down towards the ground. That is when I felt a tinge of metal slid by my ankle. I had posted the guideon through my pocket and down the leg of my pants into my boot. I just gave a great first impression to my class and now they too know me as Goof troop.

Brakes, Kids, and Loose Lugnuts

     I bought my first truck the other day. I thought I was high stylin in my 95 F250 with 7.3 turbo diesel under the hood. I actually had no clue what any of that meant at the time just that I needed different gas. I loved my new truck. It was perfect and to me it ran like a dream. Truth be told it had a laundry list of things that needed to be worked on. If it was a fluid it leaked, if it was a joint it squeaked and if it had a temperature gauge it peeked. So my first under taking was to get the brakes working properly. I jacked the truck up put on the jackstands and took off my wheels. Springs, shoes and connectors flew everywhere. After about 20 trips to the auto parts store I finally got it all together, with my neighbor's help. While I was doing this my kids kept coming up to me begging me to take them on a four wheeler ride. I put them off telling them that I would later. I put my tires on and tightened the lug nuts. I felt accomplished. I had never done hardly any auto work before and here I had changed all of my brakes. After i threw my last tire on I cranked up the four wheeler and took my kids on the promised ride. I was a man. A day later I had to load my truck up with all my earthly possesions and drive to Louisiana where I had just been restationed. I proudly hoped in my manly truck and took off down the road. It didnt take long before it occurred to me that I had a problem. I diagnosed my problem when my front tire flew by my window, I nose dived into the asphault and I saw lugnuts shooting everywhere. In basking in my glory of the job I had done and trying to appease my children with a four wheeler ride I forgot to tighten the lugnuts on one wheel all the way down and now I was skidding down the road like an airplane with no landing gear. When I came to rest, my lug nuts where spread over about 40 feet and my tire had bounced about 30 yards away into the middle of  a set of train tracks. I proudly own the name "Gooftroop".

My First Post

     I have never blogged before. That much will probably be obvious. I doubt if anyone will ever look at this but me. Have you ever watched a movie and seen someone who just couldn't do anything right. Well that is me. If it can go wrong it will go wrong with me, if it can be messed up I will mess it up. Well my wife and I find my daily mishaps funny and so I thought I would share them with whatever poor soul happened to stumble across this page. I may not be able to update daily, and you may not find them quite as funny as I do. In fact they will probably be something you had to be there to get, oh well. To get the back ground of most of my stories I will tell you that I have been in the military for 6 yrs and my given nickname was goof troop. While everyone took cool nicknames like berzerker or destroyer I was dubbed goof troop. Well thats enough for my first post. Have a good day.